That’s right lovely listeners, you wouldn’t believe it but many UCSC students and KZSC DJs have begun their last year as undergraduate banana slugs. Commonly, I like to write a blog about a new fun event or cool artist that makes me smile, however this time I’d like to take a more personal approach. Before I begin, let me set the scene for you *ahem*
It is a gorgeous Santa Cruz early morning (2 am to be exact) in UCSC’s upper campus. The Violent Femmes scream soothing words of wisdom from ‘Add It Up’ into my distracted mind as my feet scrap methodically across the redwood underbrush. A cigarette dangles loosely from my fingertips, lit only minutes ago from the pilot light of my stove as I ran quickly to the woods for clarity. What has led this commonly sound of mind young heroine to stumble off in such a dramatic fashion? Did a spurned partner say something cruel? Did a close friend decided to move half way across the country? Did the drive thru clerk at McDonalds give her diet coke instead of regular? No dear friends, she was instead struck painfully by the first pangs of graduation anxiety (G.A.). She had her brand spakin’ new future laid out and glowing. It had always held the promise of reward for the past +4 years of academics and odd jobs she had happily endured, but one phone call had dashed it all to dim fluorescent scraps. She was told her dream needed to be, in a sense, ‘demoted’ in order to compensate for her academic achievements. I will not put solid numbers on the young lady’s accomplishments but let’s just say she has enough confidence, drive, and worldly experience to more than makeup for her ‘drawbacks.’ Normally this saucy minx would have told the bearer of bad news to go to hell (in nice terms of course), but the trouble is the information was personally delivered by the head of admissions themselves. What is this educated fledgling now supposed to do? Probably light another cigarette, walk another mile, listen to another song, admire the coming of a new day and smile in spite of everything. I know this sounds cliché, but life needs to suck sometimes for you to appreciate what you have. Sure, my old plans have been scattered to the wind yet a million more pieces of paper are awaiting my ink and my devotion. What will I do? What will I write? What will I become? You know what? It’s okay that I don’t know. With the sun slowly bathing my vision with soft pinks and gold, I if find it hard to recall the anxiety that sent me here. Instead, I’ll make a toast to the world and all those within it, ‘It’s okay to be lost, it’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to be unsure, and it’s okay to fail! As long as the simple beauty in this world can cause a smile to play upon your lips, you are exactly where you need to be!’ This may be my last year, but I am certainly going to make it count!